Friday, July 19, 2013

Beginning of my Fatherhood..

"When are we planning for a baby?"
"Should we?.. so early??"
Guess, my (bad?) habit of answering a question with another question is probably what my wife hates most. She continued..
"Enough, can't take it anymore.. better you face everyone yourself" - she looked annoyed.
"Let them ask me, I will answer myself.." - somehow, I wasn't dare enough to frame yet another question.
"It's been year-and-a-half we are married, are we growing younger anyways?.."
"uummmm.. no.., but.. we still have enough time.., isn't it?"

In the history of over 11 years of our relationship, this was the only thing about which me and my wife strongly disagreed upon - "having a baby". As it would have happened with any other married couple, we both soon had to face the undue pressure of being "parents". Though she looked a lot eager to be a "mom", I was too lazy and lethargic as usual.

"When are you both going to give us some good news?" - it was such an embarrassment when I was asked this by my wife's aunt in one of the family gathering.. didn't know what to answer! My wife seemed to be the most happiest person on earth that very moment, she was laughing mouthful. Realizing the fact what my brave wife was going through all past days, I quickly decided what to do next. Following a couple of fertile days I had marked for us, she only managed to have a period and missed the rest. When the hCG test done at home ran positive, we finally had a hint of the "good news"!!. I could no more be the same old "lazy boy".. our Gynecologist had confirmed the "good news" and certified it with a big list of precautions to my wife and responsibilities for myself.

"What are you going to present me for our second wedding anniversary?" asked my wife.
"Do we really need anything more?.." I said with a smile.
This time, my question as an answer to her question had little adverse effects; she very well understood what was intended. Following months of pregnancy were the most memorable days of life with lots of happenings around - scheduling appointments with the Gynecologist, waiting long hours for consultation, the curiosity of looking at our child through ultrasound while it slowly crept along it's crucial weeks of prenatal life, the joy of looking into the normal-read medical reports, the responsibility of being a sensible hubby, sharing few of her routine household chores, a little counseling done often to ease worries off and make her strong.. everything seemed like a fairy tale of a sweet dream!

It was on 29th June, the doctor advised to get my wife admitted for further medical care following frequent pain and discharge. Continuous fetal Non-Stress Test (NST) monitoring was normal throughout 30th June while she was in the labor ward. With no progressive signs of delivery, doctor recommended to wait until the next day for normal delivery to happen. It was at around half past 12 noon on 01st July, NST started recording an alarming drop in the fetal heart rate. Looking at the term scan report, doctor said "There might probably be something obstructing head to descend down and the baby seems to be in stress. It is better I take her in..". The sentence of term scan report "cord around the neck observed at the time of scanning" which I had purposefully ignored when my wife asked about it looking at the report a month ago was proved detrimental.

"Should I be operated now?"
"hmmmm.. baby seems to be stressed out. NST has now come down to 125, what was in the range of 145 earlier. Don't worry, C-section would be less painful compared to the normal labor pain. You will be put under anesthesia and by the time you open eyes, baby will be beside you" - even though I wasn't completely right, only intention was to ease my wife through her C-section. Hearing to those words and having known the stressed condition of the baby within, (looking as brave as ever) she too agreed.

"If you don't faint, please come to OT" said the doctor looking at me, this was what my wife also probably wanted. No matter I have been used to sight blood and also been regularly performing C-sections in animals myself, it shall never be easy to see the raw flesh and fresh blood of my loved one. Without much delay, I pulled on the pink gown and stepped in to OT. The anesthesiologist had done his job by then, but it was only the regional anesthesia - my wife was very well aware of the happenings around. Thanks to the head cap and face mask, which came to my rescue to avoid emotions on my face being directly seen by my wife. As the surgeon pierced through the different layers from skin into the abdominal cavity, I struggled to hold my nerves tight. While the suction pump cleared all the oozing out blood from the surgical site, baby was taken out with the umbilical cord around its neck. A few seconds later, the first cry of our baby brought a smile on my wife's face and a much awaited relief in me.

"Note the time of birth.." said the anesthesiologist to me. All my belongings were dropped outside the OT and the wall clock struck 2pm. I stood looking at the clock. "See whether you got a baby boy or girl.." - said the nurse. All I wanted was healthy mother and a healthy baby, no matter boy or a girl; reluctantly moved a bit towards the pediatrician who was passing the nasal tube to evacuate the mucus from the baby, I could see our tiny "daughter" crying aloud. "Don't you congratulate your wife?" asked the surgeon. Oh! yes.. had totally forgot to wish her.. I held her hand and gently pressed saying "daughter.." - am sure she did pick the pleasure within me as she was very well aware that I always preferred a daughter over son.

our daughter, on day two
Mom, daughter & dad are all fine now. Somewhere in May 2012, while I wrote a post "mom n me.." on this Blog (please read it again, it might just take a few minutes), it was mere fiction; and never was aware that almost the same thing would happen in my life a year later. Having such a lovely beginning to my fatherhood, we parents now have to shoulder the huge responsibility of making life of our daughter more prettier and most importantly, the responsibility of making her a beautiful human being.

Friday, July 12, 2013

ಅಂಧೆಯ ಬದುಕಿಗೆ ಬೆಳಕಾದೀತೆ ನ್ಯಾಯಾಂಗ?

ಚಿಕ್ಕಬಳ್ಳಾಪುರ ಜಿಲ್ಲೆಯ ಬಗೇಪಲ್ಲಿ ಎಂಬ ಪುಟ್ಟ ಹಳ್ಳಿ; ತಮ್ಮ ದಿನನಿತ್ಯದ ಕಾಯಕಕ್ಕೆ ಹೊರಟಿದ್ದ ಕುರಿ ಕಾಯುವ ಹುಡುಗರಿಗೆ ಕ್ಷೀಣ ಧ್ವನಿಯ ಹೆಣ್ಣಿನ ರೋದನೆ ಕೇಳಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಅತ್ತಿತ್ತ ಹುಡುಕಾಡಿದ ಕುರಿಯವರಿಗೆ, ಸಮೀಪದ ಹೊಲದಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ಪಾಳುಬಾವಿಯೂಂದರೊಳಗೆ ಬಿದ್ದು ಸಹಾಯಕ್ಕಾಗಿ ಕೂಗಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಒಬ್ಬ ಹೆಂಗಸು ಕಾಣಿಸುತ್ತಾಳೆ. ಕೊಳವೆಬಾವಿಗಳ ಹಾವಳಿಯಿಂದ ಮರುಗಿಹೋಗಿದ್ದ ಪುರಾತನ ಪಳೆಯುಳಿಕೆಯೊಳಗಿಂದ ಹೆಣ್ಣುಮಗಳನ್ನು ಹೊರತರಲು ಹರಸಾಹಸ ಮಾಡಿದವರಿಗೆ ಅಚ್ಚರಿ-ಕುತೂಹಲ ಕಾದಿತ್ತು; ಆಕೆ ಗರ್ಭಿಣಿಯಷ್ಟೇ ಅಲ್ಲ, ಅಂಧೆಯೂ ಕೂಡ.

ಜುಲೈ ಆರರ ಶನಿವಾರ, ತಡರಾತ್ರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ "ಆದಪ್ಪ" ಅಂಧೆಯಾದ "ಗೌರಿ"ಯನ್ನು (ಹೆಸರು ಬದಲಿಸಲಾಗಿದೆ) ಮದುವೆಯಾಗುವುದಾಗಿ ನಂಬಿಸಿ ತನ್ನೊಡನೆ ಕರೆದೊಯ್ಯುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಅಂಗವಿಲಕೆಯಾದ ಹೆಣ್ಣು ತನ್ನೊಡಲಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಳೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಕೂಸಿಗೆ ತಂದೆಯಾದ ಆದಪ್ಪನನ್ನಲ್ಲದೆ ಮತ್ತಿನ್ಯಾರನ್ನು ನಂಬಿಯಾಳು? ಗಾಡಾಂಧಕಾರದ ತನ್ನ ಪ್ರಪಂಚದಾಚೆಗೆಲ್ಲೋ ಇರಬಹುದಾದ ನವಜೀವನದ ಸುಂದರ ಕನಸನ್ನು ಕಾಣುತ್ತಾ ಹೊರಟಿದ್ದ ಗೌರಿಗೆ ಆಘಾತ ಕಾದಿತ್ತು.. ಮದುವೆಯಾಗಿ ಬಾಳಿನ ಬೆಳಕು ಹೊತ್ತಿಸುವುದಾಗಿ ವಚನ ನೀಡಿ, ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಪಡೆದುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದಾತ ನಡುರಾತ್ರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಆಕೆಯನ್ನು ಕರೆತಂದು ಹತ್ತಿರದ ಹಾಳುಬಾವಿಯೊಂದಕ್ಕೆ ತಳ್ಳಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ. ತೆವಲು ತೀರಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಾತನಿಗೆ ಕಣ್ಣು ಕಾಣದ ಕುರುಡಿಯಾಗಲೀ, ಆಕೆಯ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಳೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ತನ್ನ ಪಿಂಡವಾಗಲಿ ಬೇಕಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ.

ಚಿತ್ರ ಕೃಪೆ: ದಿ ಹಿಂದು, ಗೂಗಲ್. ಪರಿಕಲ್ಪನೆ: ಪ್ರಶಾಂತ್

ಇಷ್ಟಕ್ಕೂ, ಆದಪ್ಪ ಏನೂ ತಿಳಿಯದ ಹದಿಹರೆಯದ ಹುಡುಗನೇನಲ್ಲ; 47ರ "ಪ್ರಾಯದ ಸಭ್ಯ ಗೃಹಸ್ಥ"?! ಸಬಲೆ ಹೆಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ದೇವರದ್ದೇ ಬಲ - ಸತತ ಹದಿನೈದು ಘಂಟೆಗಳ ದೀರ್ಘಾವಧಿ ನರಳಿಕೆಯ ನಂತರ ಅದೃಷ್ಟವಶಾತ್ ಗೌರಿ ಪ್ರಾಣಾಪಾಯದಿಂದ ಪಾರಾಗಿದ್ದಾಳಾದರೂ, ಆದಪ್ಪನ ಕುಟುಂಬದ ಸದಸ್ಯರ ಕಪಟಕ್ಕೆ ಗುರಿಯಾಗಬೇಕಾಯಿತು. ಮೂರೂ ಬಿಟ್ಟವರು ಮಾತ್ರ ಮಾನಕ್ಕೆ ಬೆಲೆ ಕಟ್ಟಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯ - ಗೌರಿಯ ತಂದೆಯನ್ನು ಭೇಟಿಮಾಡಿದ ಆದಪ್ಪನ ಮನೆಯವರು, ಪ್ರಕರಣವನ್ನು ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೇ ಮುಚ್ಚಿಹಾಕಲು ಒಪ್ಪಂದದ ಹೊಂದಾಣಿಕೆಗೆ ಮುಂದಾಗಿದ್ದರು. ಕ್ರೌರ್ಯದ ಆಟಕ್ಕೆ ಕುತಂತ್ರದ ಆಸರೆ - ಇದು ಇಂದಿನ ನಮ್ಮ "ಪ್ರಬುದ್ಧ ಸಮಾಜ"ದ ವಾಸ್ತವ ಸ್ಥಿತಿ. ನತದೃಷ್ಟೆ ಗೌರಿಯ ತಂದೆಯವರ ಕಠಿಣ ಧೋರಣೆಯಿಂದ ಹಾಗೂ ಜಿಲ್ಲಾ ಅಂಗವಿಕಲರ ಕಲ್ಯಾಣ ಸಂಸ್ಥೆಯ ಬೆಂಬಲದಿಂದ ಎರಡು ದಿನ ತಡವಾಗಿಯಾದರೂ ಬಗೇಪಲ್ಲಿ ಪೋಲೀಸ್ ಠಾಣೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಆದಪ್ಪನ ವಿರುದ್ಧ ದೂರು ದಾಖಲಾಗಿರುವುದಷ್ಟೇ ಸಮಾಧಾನಕರ ಸಂಗತಿ.

ತಲೆಮರೆಸಿಕೊಂಡಿರುವ ಆರೋಪಿ "ಆದಪ್ಪ"ನಿಗಾಗಿ ಪೋಲೀಸರು ಹುಡುಕಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದರೆ, ಮಾನಸಿಕ ಹಾಗೂ ದೈಹಿಕ ಆಘಾತಕ್ಕೊಳಗಾಗಿರುವ ಗೌರಿ, ಚಿಕ್ಕಬಳ್ಳಾಪುರ ಸರ್ಕಾರಿ ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಚಿಕಿತ್ಸೆ ಪಡೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾಳೆ. ಅಸಂಖ್ಯಾತ ಹೆಣ್ಣು ದೇವತೆಗಳಿಗೆ ನಿತ್ಯಪೂಜೆ ಸಾಂಗವಾಗಿ ನಡೆಯುತ್ತಿರುವ ನಮ್ಮ ಸಮಾಜದಲ್ಲಿ ಹೆಣ್ಣನ್ನು ಈ ರೀತಿ ಹೀನಾಯವಾಗಿ ನಡೆಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿರುವುದು ಧಾರ್ಮಿಕ ಆಚರಣೆಗಳನ್ನು ಅರ್ಥಹೀನವಾಗಿಸಿ, ಹಿಂದೂ ಸಂಸ್ಕೃತಿಯ ಪಾವಿತ್ರ್ಯತೆಗೆ ಕಳಂಕವನ್ನುಂಟುಮಾಡಿದೆ. ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ನೋವಿನ ಹೊರತಾಗಿ ಗೌರಿಯ ಆರೋಗ್ಯ ಸುಧಾರಿಸುತ್ತಿರುವುದಾಗಿ ಚಿಕಿತ್ಸೆ ನೀಡುತ್ತಿರುವ ವೈದ್ಯರು ತಿಳಿಸಿದರೂ, ಆರೋಪಿ ಆದಪ್ಪನನ್ನು ನ್ಯಾಯಾಂಗದ ಚೌಕಟ್ಟಿನಲ್ಲಿ ತಪ್ಪಿತಸ್ಥನೆಂದು ಸಾಬೀತು ಮಾಡಿ ಶಿಕ್ಷೆಗೆ ಗುರಿಪಡಿಸಲು ಗೌರಿಯ ಮಡಿಲು ಬರಿದಾಗದಿರುವುದು ಕ್ಷೇಮ. ವಿವಾಹಪೂರ್ವ ಲೈಂಗಿಕ ಸಂಬಂಧವು ದಾಖಲೆಗಳಿಂದ ಸಾಬೀತಾದಲ್ಲಿ, ಅಂತಹವರನ್ನು ಅಧಿಕೃತವಾಗಿ ಪತಿ-ಪತ್ನಿ ಎಂದು ಪರಿಗಣಿಸಬೇಕೆಂಬ ಮಹತ್ವದ ತೀರ್ಪನ್ನು ಇತ್ತೀಚೆಗಷ್ಟೇ ಮದ್ರಾಸ್ ಉಚ್ಚ ನ್ಯಾಯಾಲಯದಲ್ಲಿ ನೀಡಲಾಗಿದೆ. ಈ ತೀರ್ಪು ಗೌರಿಯಂತಹ ಇನ್ನೂ ಅನೇಕ ಮುಗ್ಧ, ಅಸಹಾಯಕ ಹಾಗೂ ಶೋಷಿತ ಹೆಣ್ಣುಮಕ್ಕಳ ಬದುಕಿಗೆ ಬೆಳಕಾಗಿ, ಆದಪ್ಪನಂತಹ ಕ್ರೂರಿಗಳ ಕ್ರೌರ್ಯವನ್ನು ಮಟ್ಟಹಾಕುವಲ್ಲಿ ಸಹಾಯಕವಾಗುತ್ತದೆಯೇ? ಕಾದು ನೋಡಬೇಕು.